So I'm starting my new business...and trying so hard to get to the point I know that I'm living the life I love. That's my new mantra. Why did I have to think so long and hard to figure that out. To be really happy in life I need to live the life I love. Well, I certainly don't love it right now. Stress, drama, incompetency...all the crap I can't stand. And I've been immersed in it so long it's really hard to get out of this mire. This American style life. So how did this new mantra start? Let me tell ya...

One day, not so very long ago, I started coming out of this fog. Like my brain just started working again. It's just been so long since my brain and emotions were firing on all cylinders that it was a jolt to realize that I'd been sleep walking through my life. I wasn't happy and felt trapped, stuck in what I call my life. This isn't what I signed up for. This isn't what I struggled so hard to regain after so many loses.

So I envisioned walking through a field of prairie grass. I could smell the fresh air and hear the rustle of the grasses as they waved in the breeze. I then entered a pine forest...the kind of forest where all the trees are mysterious and ancient. The forest floor was carpeted with a deep layer of pine needles. I padded over the needles, following a path that I hadn't seen before. I entered a clearing where I could see my favorite tree. The giant reaches far into the sky, dwarfing everything around it. I've actually seen this tree. I call it 'my heaven'. It how I envision heaven to be. And I meet someone I don't know, but feel completely safe with. I asked her how I could be happy. And clear as a bell she said that i should live the life I love. And as clear as it had been five minutes ago, I've never forgotten that statement I made within myself. It's my North star each and every day.